Day: August 3, 2024

Be Still And Know

11 Mar

Here we are again, sitting in the gap between ‘before and after. It’s uncomfortable. It feels so foreign and unknown. But is it? The circumstances may be different, but isn’t the process the same continual movement of, ‘from – to’. We have a lifetime of experience. We should know how to do it by now, but we don’t. Some call it the neutral zone or the grey area (no pun intended) that place in between black & white where life happens. But we have to be still ‘and know. When I’m still I remember that I already know. It’s not until then that I tune into the rhythm of life’s continuous cycle, from seen reality to unseen possibilities.

Riding Elephants

11 Mar

I have difficulty with the mainstream narrative of the inevitable demise and invisibility of women over 50.⠀

It’s simply not the experience of women I know or knew when I was younger.⠀

The women I saw ahead of me had crossed over into a mystical world where the living was easy. Or at least so it seemed from their calm poise. ⠀

Whilst our youth-obsessed culture chases after a Love Island ‘ideal’ that’s unobtainable, these women have stepped into their Queenship and are owning it.⠀

Mick Lindberg was riding elephants bareback at 66 whilst battling cancer. After multiple careers as a celebrated model and photographer Mick is now a sought-after artist. Everything she does inspires me. She creates beauty and magic in equal measure. She is insatiably curious. Call it a crush, but the moment I met her ten years ago, I thought: If this is what life has in store for me, I can’t wait.

The Road Less Travelled By

The Road Less Travelled By

11 Mar

“I took the road less travelled by”…. #robertfrost

This year, like many people I know and love, my life has been upended. A massive “No Through Road’ sign appeared on the road I’d always travelled.

Throughout my life, one of the things I’ve found most helpful when I need to ‘find myself’ – is first to get lost. Really lost.

At those times of overwhelming confusion and doubt, I take a solo trip. No-one else. Just me.

Even before I leave home, my pulse quickens and my imagination takes flight. The moment I arrive, it happens. Against the backdrop of new noises, unfamiliar smells, and sounds, and under a different sky, a clear definition of myself begins to take shape. I have become very aware of who I am.

With sharpened focus, I’m able to see what’s important and what less so. I’m able to sit without familiar distractions and listen to that still small voice calling me home. Sometimes it’s a whisper, but in the silence, I hear it.

This time it is calling me home by another way. A new unexpected way, unknown and unfamiliar. I am not prepared and I am scared. But I know the voice well; I’ve heard it many times before and I’ve learned to trust more.

I now try and find a place for calm, clarity and peace. Quieten the mental noise of modern life and consider that meaning and purpose may be found by another way.

Many things can throw us off course, particularly at mid-life, that age when our foundations aren’t as secure as we thought they were, but what if it’s ‘the course’ that’s wrong and the road diversions that are right?

I’m still a long way from home and I don’t really know the way. But one thing I do know is I took the road less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.

Me No Pause

Me No Pause

11 Mar

Something happens at the tail end of menopause. It can be really annoying when we are told that menopause doesn’t have to define or restrict us an advertiser’s claim to have the answer to eternal youth like @hollandandbarrett ‘Me No Pause’ Transport For London, campaign.

Yet our bodies tell us something different: our bodies have been hijacked by capricious hormones and we have no idea what havoc they are going to wreck next.

One day I was lamenting this to an older wise friend and I was totally surprised when she conspiratorially confided. “Don’t worry, you just wait for the day you come home. Your real self will inhabit you again and it’s not you of 5 years ago or even 25 years ago, it’s that carefree prepubescent you.” A ‘you’ with hormones that have settled down. The ‘you’, you’ve long forgotten and never thought you’d meet again. But with added confidence that’s sexy, a style that’s you, a fearless spirit and a tried and tested truth. It’s the best present, surprise, gift ever.

When it happened to me it was like finding a lost but beloved piece of jewelry in the pocket of a forgotten coat. I pass this on whenever I can to women who are finding it difficult.

A woman came back to me at a party this summer, looking so radiant I didn’t recognise her at first. She said “what you told me last year – happened. It’s amazing and Im telling everyone I know.”

So hang in there, the best is yet to come, I promise!.

Lydia Campbell